Elide's Story

Hey I’m Elide I thought I would tell you a little bit about my personal journey and how that has shaped the work I wish to offer. As you may already know, I’m a midwife, lactation consultant, mama rising facilitator and postpartum doula. I love what I do for a reason... If you’ve had a look at our website and what services you can book with me, you may be wondering why this style and why these specifically. I have been a midwife for 9 years and have been in the hospital system for 12 years. My heart has always called to a more natural and intuitive midwifery, and I’ve always felt a little out of place and very conflicted at times. I feel the passion for this work deep in my bones. It has always been a dream to set out and work in my own unique way, a way that’s dedicated to the woman, her needs and her desires… not the institution that I work for. After having my own child, I have felt my experiences have all unfolded for a reason… I’ve changed a lot, I’ve learnt a lot and I’ve been through a lot. I truly believe I have experienced it all for a purpose… a lesson and a message to support women differently… and so this is why I’m here! During my experiences, I felt like something was missing and I was always left craving more. This is why I have started my business, to bring you what I was missing. The missing piece of the puzzle that I desperately needed for trust, confidence, reassurance and acceptance. My services are all about what I would of loved more of in pregnancy. My services are all about what I needed postpartum. My services are all about what I value as a Mumma. Do you feel something missing on your journey through pregnancy, birth, postpartum or motherhood? Do you feel it too? Could your journey be made a little bit easier? Could you be supported better?

So what were some of my big turning points, moments that stood out for me, moments that have landed me here in this supportive work? The first moment for me was choosing a model of maternity care. In the local town that I live in, it is pretty limited. No birth centres. No home birth midwives. Mostly hospital births with a high intervention rate. I had beautiful midwifery care (of course), but I craved a deeper spiritual guidance that I now know would have helped me prepare for labour and birth more. I did calmbirth, hypnobirth, mental work, body work, mindfulness, journaling and birth preparation, but I would of loved some extra guidance, support and wisdom. When I was 13, I had major spinal surgery for scoliosis. I knew there were some pretty big fears and demons I needed to confront. I needed to find my confidence in my body for birth. There was such deep inner work to be done there. I think I got about 95% of the way there. I believe we all have a past to work through… So here I am… wanting to help you and guide you through some of your inner work you may need to do for birth. I want to help you find confidence, let go of fears and work through your feelings. My pregnancy support, does not replace or substitute your pregnancy care. I want to provide the deeper spiritual growth and learning for you during pregnancy, so you can go into labour and birth confidently, intuitively and connected with your baby. You don’t get this from mainstream maternity care. I believe it is time to stop putting faith in the maternity system and learning from them, and time to start putting faith in your body, to learn from what your body and baby are telling you. When I was in my first trimester, I was shopping in my home town of Lennox Head. My path crossed with a lovely stranger who turned out to be a private midwife. We got chatting, I told her I would love to be a private midwife one day, and I was currently pregnant. She told me all about her business, which happened to be specialising in birth debriefing, I was incredibly inspired by her work. So many women need more love and support after birth and to be able to have a safe space to discuss your birth and reflect, what a beautiful service she was providing. She handed me her card and wished me all the best for my birth. I had a fleeting moment when I thought “I better keep this card somewhere special”. The universe was sending me a message… After giving birth, I reflected and relived my birth so many times in my head. I have absolutely wonderful incredible moments, but I also had traumatic, disappointing moments. I suffered in silence with PTSD, not even realising this was what I was experiencing, I just thought I was being hard on myself and over analysing the parts of my birth I wish I could of changed or done differently. After my birth, I thought about this midwife, I searched high and low for her card and I did my best to find her on google. But nothing… Lost. She was exactly what I craved. I just needed someone to talk to. Someone supportive, who understands birth, who understands medical intervention, who could tell me I did everything I could. I was craving the knowledge and wisdom from a midwife, a mother and a woman. So here I am… hoping to be there when you feel a bit lost. When you need someone to listen, really listen, and acknowledge what you are feeling is hard. Have you ever felt that when telling your birth story to friends, sisters, mothers, in laws or colleagues; they didn’t leave you feeling any better, only more frustrated? There was no compassion or understanding that you desperately needed. The comments that are super unhelpful, dismissive and unnecessary. Sadly they are the ones we hear the most, when we need them the least. The one up worse story on yours, the “all that matters is a healthy baby” comment, the "oh you should of done XYZ" comment, the list goes on… Those comments aren’t helpful to a new mother, a mother still reliving every second of her birth, the sounds, the smells, the energy, the words spoken and the feelings. So here I am… if you need some kindness and compassion to safely tell your story. I hope we can reflect, process and heal… Doesn’t matter if your story is new or old, fresh or forgotten, short or long. It’s still your story to tell, it’s time to find peace. During my postpartum period, especially my golden month, I felt so beautifully supported and cared for. I had dear friends drop off Mumma care packages, home cooked meals, provide acupuncture, even donor breastmilk when times were tough!! My gorgeous sister organised the incredible meal packages from The Golden Month meal service - and for my husband and I not having any family close by, we were absolutely amazed and so grateful for the generosity of others at this time. But wow, postpartum for me was really tough. I should have known, of course someone like me, so determined and headstrong about breastfeeding- was bound to have some pretty tough feeding challenges. The universe works in wonderful ways. Our babies come to us for a reason… Don’t they!! My first moment of matrescence happened on about day 5. I remember looking at my husband and not recognising myself anymore. Someone else was looking out from my eyes that day. I felt torn in two different places. The part of me connected to my husband and the part of me connected to my baby. There was a massive shift for me… I felt my purpose in life had all changed. This was my matrescence. I had changed. Completely changed. Yet when women become mothers, we expect mothers to still be the old them, as well as a the new them, the mother. But this is not the case. We change. And in that moment I felt foreign in my body, a stranger in my skin. I wasn’t me anymore. So my search for answers and understanding led me to matrescence. This word sparked a fire in my belly and the desire to keep learning more and more. I had never even heard of this word as a midwife, I couldn’t believe it! How was this possible! The words, the meaning, the why. This is what mothers needed to be hearing. So my postpartum journey continued on. First up it was breastfeeding challenges and then it was sleep challenges. But understanding my change as a woman was monumental in helping me find acceptance and peace. Our children are our greatest teachers… I love what my son has taught me. I still look back and I’m so proud for what I have achieved and still continue to achieve (still breastfeeding and still cosleeping and I love it). I feel like my breastfeeding challenges were pretty unique and uncommon. So I don’t want to make you feel like these challenges are normal parts of breastfeeding. Absolutely not. I had never seen my combination of breastfeeding struggles as a midwife. Ever. I’m pretty sure I got one of the jackpots of complexity. Some of my breastfeeding challenges; my son latched at birth and not again properly for about 1 month, he needed full on latch support for 6 months, I developed repetitive strain injury in both wrists as a result. I also got to experience the joys of breastfeeding and pumping plus breastmilk top ups every 2-3 hrs for weeks and weeks, I had the medical pressure and self doubt pressure from slow weight gain and low supply with my milk properly coming in at around 3-4weeks, very unusual FYI. I suffered through (and still do sometimes) nipple pain, nipple thrush and nipple vasospasm despite never having a single graze or damage to my nipples. I often wonder if I have superficial nerve damage from my back operation. Anyway, my point is, for some women breastfeeding is easy, for some it is hard. But most issues resolve in a couple of weeks. Having the right help during the challenging times is crucial. Lactation support was key for me during those early days. I was so determined and I wanted nothing more than to breastfeed. But it was incredibly hard and without support, I would of given up on myself and my goals. Becoming a lactation consultant was a very satisfying achievement. I have always loved supporting breastfeeding and the challenges and problem solving required. But after my own personal experiences, I knew this was another path I needed to support mothers with. I needed to expand my breastfeeding knowledge and take it even further. So here I am… a lactation consultant who knows how hard it can be. Breastfeeding is an art, there is no right or wrong, there are no clear answers sometimes. But I am here to support and encourage you and hopefully make it a little bit easier, one feed at a time.

So from pregnancy through to motherhood- this is my story. This is why I am here. This is my purpose. I hope you can feel my passion and commitment to this work. I hope I can help you find your missing puzzle pieces…